UNDERSTANDING SELF-ESTEEM

Simply self-esteem (SE) means wanting the best for yourself on a daily basis. Talking with a counselor can help you to explore these concerns.

Common Feelings/behaviors and Low SE:

1. Rejection (“I knew they wouldn’t like me”)
2. Judged (“They talk about me and think I’m inferior”)
3. Confused (“I don’t understand why this always happens to me”)
4. Crazy (“I feel like I’m losing my mind”)
5. Guilty (“I wish I was better than I am”)
6. Shame (“I’m poor” or “I’m ugly” or “Damaged goods”)
7. Hopeless (“Things have always been bad”)
8. Helpless (“I will never be happy”)
9. Unlikable/Unlovable (“I’m unlovable” or “something is wrong with me”)
10. Better than (“At least I’m not…”)
11. Less than (“I’m not worthy unless I’m thin”)
12. Creates conflict with others (“Why I have all this drama in my life.”)
13. Anger (“It’s his faulty I’m like this”)
14. Jealous or difficult nurturing confidence in another.(“She has it easy.”)
15. Critical or intense need to defend (“There is something wrong with me”)
16. Do not accept physical body (“I’m gross”)
17. Stressed (“Peace can only come if I improve myself”)
18. Exhausted (“If I try hard enough people will like me”)
19. Dull (“I can’t do that” or allows others to define self)
20. Inadequate self-care (Grooming and health)
21. Misuse of power (“He just doesn’t get it- not too smart.”)
22. Unable to claim personal success (success is due to outside factors)
23. Internalize Failures (“The bad things in my life are ‘cause of me and the good things in life are happening because I’m lucky”)
24. Generalize failure (“If I fail in one area of my life, I fail as a person”)
25. Emotional thinking (“If I feel bad, it means I am bad”)

Characteristics of a Healthy SE:

1. Focuses on living life
2. Think well of self
3. Criticism is external and doesn’t make you less worthy as a person
4. Notice progress and take credit for good work
5. Apply self and have goals
6. Able to love and be loved
7. Able to remove self from abuse
8. Expect that others will like you
9. Enjoy helping other be there best
10. Don’t get too upset when things don’t go right
11. Aware of strengths and areas of growth
12. Able to laugh at self
13. Don’t compare self to others
14. Secure in identity- I know who I am
15. Emotions related to SE- happiness, joy, content, pleasure, confidence, peace

SaveSave